Alice Stalker

I was worried to discuss this at first, but now I think there is only one prudent course of action to take - I'm going to let you in on a little secret:

I think I'm being stalked by Alice Cooper.

The other day, Dom and I looked at the pictures from our trip to Japan and we came across something we didn't notice before:
Alice Cooper in Japan
Frankly, it left us a bit shaken, startled and concerned. My knees shook together audibly for three days. I couldn't go outside without looking over my shoulder. I even had dry mouth. Yes, dry mouth. Anyhow, today I finally gathered enough courage to share my nighmare with all of you.

That picture was taken last week in Japan. I'm in Fargo today. I'm not sure, but I have a creeping suspicion that Alice Cooper is coming to Fargo North Dakota today to stalk me. He even planned a concert here Monday night as an excuse to be in Fargo the same night as me. Well, my courage has not waned and I promise you that there will be no more shaking knees and definitely no more dry mouth. That's right, I'm giving you a no dry mouth guarantee. And yes, in case you were wondering, that's an iron-clad guarantee.

I've got a message for you, Alice Cooper:

Hey Stoopid - I'm fed up with your stalking ways. If I find out that you are in Fargo North Dakota, stalking me, then it's going to be No More Mr. Nice Guy from this Desperado. I'm not Eighteen - School's Out buster. If you wanna come around here and Feed My Frankenstein, go right ahead, but remember, It's My Body, I Never Cry and this time it's just You and Me. I've got a rental car. It's a Subaru. A red Subaru. If you wanna be Under My Wheels, then go right ahead: I'll be happy to Welcome you To My Nightmare.

Lock your doors, it's going to be Dangerous Tonight - Kyle


Anonymous said...

Why Kyle, stalked by Alice?

You don't know how lucky you are!

Okay, maybe you do. I see by your titles you're a fan. Alright, Kyle! By the end of your time in Fargo, you'll be a happy little Sickthing...just like the rest of us...

(cue creepy stalker movie music...)

Talena said...

Too funny! Have fun in Fargo. (Frankly, I'd be more worried about running into Steve Buscemi there than Alice Cooper!) Say hi to my relates! ;-)