An Open Challenge to all Broadcasters of The World
The FOX Rocks
one famous skidoo
When I made the trade for 'one instant party', I also set a deadline for all upcoming trade offers: Dec 1. I would decide which offer I'd take on Decemeber first. No sooner, no later. Unless, of course, somebody made me an offer I couldn't refuse.
Well, guess what happened.
I got an email from a fellow named Michel Barrette who wanted to trade me his snowmobile for one instant party. I thought, sweet, this is perfect. A snowmobile is EXACTLY the kind of thing I need to trade for. Especially if I'm going to do a trade in Quebec. Quebec and snowmobiles are like, well, Quebec and snowmobiles. One simply cannot exist without the other. I showed the email to Dom and her jaw almost hit the floor. "Michel Barrette?!" she said. "You got an offer from Michel Barrette?!"
I, like you, had no idea what she was so excited about.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Michel Barrette has his own radio and TV shows here in Quebec. He's very famous."
This was definitely the kind of offer I couldn't refuse.
I googled him and found out he was now the host of a talk radio show in Montreal. Turned out he was on-air right then. Turned out I called him up right away and accepted the trade. Turned out when he came back on the air after the commercial break he talked about the project and announced to all of Montreal that he'd just made a trade with the paperclip guy.
My inbox to public radio announcement in less than ten minutes. Like I said, it was an offer I couldn't refuse.
***
So I posted the big trade news on this site and a few days later I got a call from a local TV station that wanted to cover the trade for their evening newscast. Then CBC, the national broadcaster for Canada called. Then Global TV called, another national broadcaster. Just as I negotiated time slots for film crews for two of Canada's biggest newscasts to visit our apartment, the phone rang again. It was CNN. They wanted in too. Now up to this point, the only video I'd had of any of the trades was the shaky low-res one-take clip of Marcin and I swapping the generator for the instant party. Things were different this time. CNN has really good cameras. Hi-res cameras that pick up a lot of detail. I would even have to brush my hair.
***
On the day of the trade I had two camera crews from national newscasts in our apartment at the same time and I had to kick them out because we were running late for the interview with CNN. I did the live hit for CNN then Dom and I drove down to the CKOI radio station building where Michel worked. There were a few camera crews hanging out front. We hopped out of the car and said hi to everybody. Dom and I pulled the complete “instant party” kit out of the car and put it on the curb. Just as we finished, a sunglasses-clad guy walked around the corner and nonchalantly came in out direction. I stepped to one side of the sidewalk to let him pass by, but he hesitated, and a large grin broke across his face. “The paperclip guy!”, he said, beaming. I scrunched up my face and thought: Did this guy just watch CNN or something? He took off his sunglasses. It was Michel Barrette. We shook hands and smiled at each other. It's a funny feeling when somebody recognizes you from a picture on your website that you set up in your bedroom while eating toast in your underwear. Definitely the far end of the spectrum from CNN, but just as possible. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small paper bag. He extended his hand toward me, looked right into my eyes and said, “Do you want a cookie?” I ate the cookie and then we laughed. It was delicious. Cookies are like that.
Michel opened up the back of the giant semi truck he'd organized to transport the snowmobile down from Northern Quebec – snowmobile heartland, if you will.
We climbed inside and he grabbed the starter cord. It fired on the first pull. Awesome. Michel revved the engine and looked at me with a big grin on his face. The TV cameras rolled. He revved it up real good, checked a few gauges, then hopped off and gestured for me to hop on. I got on and grabbed the handlebars. Just as I was about to rev it up and generally make a lot of noise and exhaust fumes for the TV cameras, Michel grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes. “Don't rev it too high. It'll take off and you go right through the front wall of this truck.” I thought about it for a sec, it's not the kind of thing you ever really imagine yourself doing – smashing through the front end of a tractor trailer on national TV. I briefly considered going for it, as it would make for some unreal footage, but then re-considered. I couldn't smash through the front of the truck - I wasn't wearing my helmet. I carefully revved it up just enough to make a lot of noise and blow some exhaust out the back of the trailer for the camera guys. They ate it up. Camera guys are like that.
Michel and I did the obligatory 'handshake' picture, this time for the TV cameras and I walked over to Dom - a massive grin plastered across my face. This was it – a snowmobile. In only a few trades I'd managed to parlay one red paperclip into a snowmobile. The back of the tractor trailer didn't exactly double as the front of a majestic ocean liner, but Dom and I were on top of the world. Anything was possible. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, and turned around. Michel looked pointed at the snowmobile, “So mister paperclip, where do you want me to tell the truckers to take your snowmobile?” Uh oh. I hadn't thought of this. I always figured that the snowmobile would stay at the radio station until I decided who I was going to trade it with. I was in a pickle. I hate being in pickles. Actually, I can honestly say that pickles are my least favorite food. Definitely the most over-rated gherkin. I thought hard. Our apartment was tiny and it was on the third floor, so that was out. My buddy Matt was at work and it'd be pretty cheeky to drop it off at his place, which happened to be his parent's place too, without at least a little bit of warning. I could definitely make it up to him with vast amounts of beer at a later date, but I'd just gone and traded away my keg full of beer, so that was out too. Dom shook her head, gave me 'the look', and said, “Nice one. I told you you should find a place for that snowmobile. What were you thinking? That it would just find a place all by itself?” I obviously did think the snowmobile would find a place all by itself. After all, it was a snowmobile, isn't that what they do? I frantically tried to think of where I could store the now-famous snowmobile. Then it hit me: Justin. I looked at Dom, who still was all about 'the look', and attempted to regain some credibility.
“What about Justin? He said I could probably keep it in his garage for awhile...”
She looked back at me, this time with the 'the eye' then progressed to 'the voice', “What? You can't just send it over there now. You need to call people a long time before you do stuff like that.”
I didn't have a long time before I did stuff like that. I had now. Now would have to do. Anyhow, Justin was the kind of guy who'd understand. I'd met him a few years previous at a hostel in Australia. The first time we met he was fresh off the plane from Quebec and hardly spoke a word of English. I remember thinking how difficult it must be to learn a new language by total immersion. I watched as Aussies gave him the gears for not understanding simple English stuff like “How ye goin mate? Yeh, toss the slab of VB in the ute. That sheila you were just talking to's got a few roos loose in the top paddock but I reckon you can get a quick root in before this arvo.”
We laughed about it then, and I couldn't help but think how humbling it must've been for him - not knowing what arvo or ute meant. Sheesh. He must've felt like a total moron. Now was my turn to face the music. I pulled out my phone and dialed Justin. He picked up right away. “Hello?” I looked up. Two TV cameras were in my face. The red lights were on. I swallowed, then went for it. “Hey Justin, do you remember how you said I might be able to keep the snowmobile at your place?”
“Yeah...”
“Well, um, I kinda just found out that I need to find a place to keep it for awhile.”
Justin laughed. This was such sweet revenge. He couldn't see the cameras, and I didn't exactly give him a visual description of my situation, but I'm sure he could hear it in my voice. This was probably way more humbling than the time he had to muster up his best English and ask a pair of true blue Aussies what they meant by 'root'.
I spoke again, “Is it cool if it comes to your place?”
He laughed again. “Sure man. I'll give you the address.”
The camera guys ate it up. Camera guys are like that.
We said goodbye to the camera guys and reporters and lugged the instant party into the radio station. We made our way to a room filled with people milling about and shook lots of hands. There were no TV cameras here. It's funny how even a room filled with people asking you questions in French is a relaxing stress-free oasis after a day spent in front of multiple TV cameras. I could make the most embarrassing phone call of all time and it wouldn't be replayed on national TV. I considered making a real embarrassing phone call, just for kicks, then gave up on the idea. Being able to make an embarrassing phone call without TV cameras capturing every dramatic moment was always something I'd taken for granted. It's funny how your life changes when you go on national TV.
Michel and I talked on-air for awhile about the project. I managed to hold my own in French, and even convinced Dom to get in on the conversation. She was a bit nervous, seeing how every person she'd ever known had heard about the interview and was probably listening. Going on the radio in French was a big end to a big day. When I first came to Quebec a few years before this moment, I hardly spoke a word. Learning French was the hardest, most humbling experience of my entire life. Way harder than that silly little last-minute phone call to Justin. I’d worked outside as a roughneck on oil rigs at forty below, and that was tough, but nothing compares to sitting at the dinner table with your girlfriend’s family, totally oblivious to the real life in front of your eyes. It's amazing how us English first-languagers have got it. We expect pretty much expect everybody to understand us wherever we go, and for the most part, they do. It's amazing when the coin is flipped and you find yourself as an outsider to a culture. Speaking to Michel on the radio in French with all of Dom's family listening was when I felt like I finally bridged the gap. I was still the 'Anglo', something I'm toally cool with, but now I had a least a little bit of Quebecois street cred. I chilled with Michel Barrette on-air. The Michel Barrette.
Michel told us how he was going to give one instant party to his buddy as a gift. He'd originally decided to give him the snowmobile, but after he heard about the project, he changed his mind and decided it would be a whole heck of a lot funnier his buddy got a full keg of beer, a Budweiser sign, and then about thirty additional cases of beer. I figured his buddy might be choked at first, especially if he found out I'd snaked the snowmobile from him, but after downing a handful of beers and seeing the vast amount of intoxicating potential before his eyes, would tell Michel that he was a genius. One thing was certain, I definitely thought Michel Barrette was a genius. A genius and a really cool guy.
PS
Now would be a good time to add "The snowmobile Song" by Stompin' Tom Connors to your ipod arsenal. Yes, now would be a REAL good time to do that.
offers for one famous skidoo
Salut Bonjour
Yeah, I was surprised too. Je 'parle' français pas trop mal, especiallement après une couple des bouteilles de Labatt Bleue, mais j'ecris en français comme un pied. And for that reason, the blog's going to be en anglais. It was really cool to meet the reporter from le journal, Patrick Lagacé. I've been a big fan of his ever since I moved to Montreal last year - when he was hitch-hiking across Canada and writing stories for the newspaper. Cool Stuff. Patrick's definitely a guy I look up to. A true reporter. The kind of guy that goes right to the source for the scoop. Yesterday, in true Lagacian fashion, he came to the source of one red paperclip: our apartment. He even brought a REAL journalist's notebook! You might say with his going-right-to-the-source style, Patrick is somewhat of a Quebecois version of Al Roker. Merci Patrick! I'm getting some interest from around the world on this project now. As anyone who's followed this blog already knows, I can't resist a good pie chart. It's more than a long shot that I'll be able to write entries in another language, even French, cause running a website in one language is tough enough as it is. So, if anybody wants to write the intro page to one red paperclip in another language than English, any language, it will be greatly appreciated. I'll even post your name and a link to your site if you'd like! Here's the intro to one red paperclip: http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com/2005/07/one-red-paperclip.html Thanks, and have a great Friday! Kyle
Norway Pie Chart and one instant party videos
I just figured out a way to upload videos. Also found a green PAC MAN guy on my website traffic report. That green PAC MAN shape means that about 80 kazillion Norwegians are coming to the site. Took this opportunity to make a nice little Norway-trade-offer / eagle shirt / Montreal urban snowscape video. I'll still trade the one instant party with ANYBODY, ANYWHERE - just thought it'd be an opportune time to market the instant party to Norwegians, that's all. I don't know about you, but I've never had an opporutne time to market ANYTHING to Norwegians before. So, yeah, rock on Norway! I wish I could say some rad things in Norwegian or something, but I can't....yet. You wanna know something interesting? Not a single Norwegian has made an offer for the one instant party yet - who's going to be the first? Oh yeah, the High School my parents went to was Burnaby North - home of the Vikings....and before I moved to Montreal, I lived in Vancouver - on a fjord! Better strike while the iron's hot. Kyle
Brasil
10 reasons why you need ‘one instant party’
1. Ease: I will come to you to make the trade. Remember, I will go ANYWHERE for the right offer. 2. Flexibility: My schedule is EXTREMELY flexible. I will work around your schedule. 3. Awesomeness: Beer is awesome. Maybe it’s the target-market-for-beer-demographic part of me talking here, but beer is so sweet. You also get to keep the keg and the Budweiser sign – which are awesome collectors items. 4. Freshness: It’s not actual beer YET, it’s just an IOU. When you get the beer it will be fresh. 5. Anti-Alcohol Values: I’m not promoting beer consumption here - I’m promoting fun. There’s no reason why you need to drink the beer. Remember – you’re not making an offer for beer, you’re making an offer for an IOU for a keg’s worth of beer and a neon sign. If your idea of fun is NOT drinking alcohol, then you can use one instant party to promote anti-alcohol values or your personal distaste for beer. Get a bonfire going and burn the IOU if you like. You can make 'one instant party' a martyr for your cause! 6. Brand Recognition: Do you own a small micro-brewery or some other business that is looking to create brand recognition? Offer me something related to your business for one instant party and you’ll get TWICE the publicity. -We can fill this keg with your favorite beer. (Maybe your own beer - nobody said it has to be Bud) -Whatever you trade me for one instant party will be re-traded again shortly so your brewery/other business will get another mention when the next trade happens. -This site is viewed by thousands of people per day. Your business will be famous. As famous as Oprah. 7. Literary: Maybe I’ll write a book about this adventure. You might be in a book! 8. Christmas: Christmas parties are on the horizon. If you’ve got a green keg already but need a red one to complete the color scheme, then look no further. (I can also paint half of the keg green if you’re looking for a one-keg Christmas color scheme.) 9. Historic: This site is getting some serious publicity. It was talked about in the New York Times and USA Today last week, and there are surely more journalists waiting to write about it - as soon as I make the perfect trade. If you get your hands on one instant party, it will be chronicled here on this website. By default, your party will be LEGENDARY – even if it’s just a few people sitting around playing Scrabble. You can have a Scrabble party that will go down in history. 10. Fun: This trade will be fun. If you think about it, there’s really no reason why you wouldn’t want ‘one instant party’. So, what are you gonna offer for one instant party?! oneredpaperclip@gmail.com Have fun, Kyle PS The deadline for trade offers for 'one instant party' is Dec 1st, but if someone makes me a time-sensitive offer I can’t refuse, I’ll have to, well, not refuse.
Corey Hart Drives a Fiero
http://coreyhartdrivesafiero.blogspot.com
Facts:
-Corey Heart invented awesome.
-Corey Hart invented the Fiero.
-Corey Hart invented Corey Hart.
En Why See
Scott saw some pigs
We saw this guy.
My car's the red one in the middle.
My new super-hero name is "Bag of Chinese food Carrying Steam Man"
The name says it all.
We saw this guy.
Evian lived on "the wild side".
Scott's first bite of Peking Duck....ever. Rachel was very proud of him.
Jeep makes "off road" vehicles.
Subways are fun.
Dom got a new bird shirt.