10 reasons why you need ‘one instant party’

1. Ease: I will come to you to make the trade. Remember, I will go ANYWHERE for the right offer. 2. Flexibility: My schedule is EXTREMELY flexible. I will work around your schedule. 3. Awesomeness: Beer is awesome. Maybe it’s the target-market-for-beer-demographic part of me talking here, but beer is so sweet. You also get to keep the keg and the Budweiser sign – which are awesome collectors items. 4. Freshness: It’s not actual beer YET, it’s just an IOU. When you get the beer it will be fresh. 5. Anti-Alcohol Values: I’m not promoting beer consumption here - I’m promoting fun. There’s no reason why you need to drink the beer. Remember – you’re not making an offer for beer, you’re making an offer for an IOU for a keg’s worth of beer and a neon sign. If your idea of fun is NOT drinking alcohol, then you can use one instant party to promote anti-alcohol values or your personal distaste for beer. Get a bonfire going and burn the IOU if you like. You can make 'one instant party' a martyr for your cause! 6. Brand Recognition: Do you own a small micro-brewery or some other business that is looking to create brand recognition? Offer me something related to your business for one instant party and you’ll get TWICE the publicity. -We can fill this keg with your favorite beer. (Maybe your own beer - nobody said it has to be Bud) -Whatever you trade me for one instant party will be re-traded again shortly so your brewery/other business will get another mention when the next trade happens. -This site is viewed by thousands of people per day. Your business will be famous. As famous as Oprah. 7. Literary: Maybe I’ll write a book about this adventure. You might be in a book! 8. Christmas: Christmas parties are on the horizon. If you’ve got a green keg already but need a red one to complete the color scheme, then look no further. (I can also paint half of the keg green if you’re looking for a one-keg Christmas color scheme.) 9. Historic: This site is getting some serious publicity. It was talked about in the New York Times and USA Today last week, and there are surely more journalists waiting to write about it - as soon as I make the perfect trade. If you get your hands on one instant party, it will be chronicled here on this website. By default, your party will be LEGENDARY – even if it’s just a few people sitting around playing Scrabble. You can have a Scrabble party that will go down in history. 10. Fun: This trade will be fun. If you think about it, there’s really no reason why you wouldn’t want ‘one instant party’. So, what are you gonna offer for one instant party?! oneredpaperclip@gmail.com Have fun, Kyle PS The deadline for trade offers for 'one instant party' is Dec 1st, but if someone makes me a time-sensitive offer I can’t refuse, I’ll have to, well, not refuse.

7 comments:

Happybutterfly said...

Just to let you know, your who's offering what link isn't working.

Anonymous said...

I'll trade you the following advice for free: Get a job and a interest only morgage. Then you'll have a house and you won't have to look like an idoiot on the InTeRnet.

Colin said...

whoa attack! buddy must live quite the dejected life alone with his 'morgage'.

bet his corn flakes tasted like shit this morning!

you rock the block MAC!

kyle said...

>>>>>Anonymous said...
I'll trade you the following advice for free: Get a job and a interest only morgage. Then you'll have a house and you won't have to look like an idoiot on the InTeRnet.


Ok, I'll take your advice. one red paperclip is now officially over. I'm going to stop making trades and get a job and a mortgage and shut the site down. Is everybody okay with that? Barter to a house - what was I thinking? I wish I knew about this whole employment/mortgage thing before I started. Man, what a waste of time. I've literally thrown away four months of my life. Dang. Thanks you free-advice-giving anonymous blog comment poster! You've turned my life around! Finally, I can get back on track!

Anonymous said...

Lâche pas dude, tu vas surment trader ton ''Instant party'' au Québec puisqu'il y a tellement de monde sur le party.

Oli

Anonymous said...

dude dont quit! i think ut the coolest guy ever! free stuff us totally awesome! id give u anything for that red papar clip...i wish id thought of this before u did! i have thousands of paper clips layin around my house! u rock my one track mind....good luck man!

Anonymous said...

Hey Kyle,

I just found some more wisdom on a government website: "Employment is the best way to financial security."

Apparently folks get $80,000 a year to write this brilliant stuff. I wonder if this is where "idoiot" "morgage"-man works. When he's not flaming on the InTeRnet on his work time!