(The following is one half of an actual telephone conversation overheard at 6 a.m. in the lobby of an undisclosed Motel.)
“Good morning, Red Lion SEA-TAC. John speaking.”
“…”
”For what night?”
“…”
“Ok, and for how many guests?”
“…”
“Two Adults, great. Would you like a Queen-size bed…, two doubles.., twi…”
“…”
“Two doubles, June 7th, no problem. I’ll double check to make sure that’s available. Oh, it looks like we have plenty of rooms available June 7th. How long will you be staying?”
“…”
“Perfect. Two adults, two double beds. Arriving June 7th, departing June 8th. That comes to $89.53 after taxes.”
“…”
“And what name should I make the reservation under?”
“…”
“Thomas. Mrs. Claire Thomas. Great. Looks like it’s all set, I just need to ask you one last question before I finalize the reservation. Mrs. Thomas, are you from the city or from the country?”
“…”
“Are you from the city or from the country?”
“…”
“Oh no, it’s nothing personal. It’s just that we have two types of rooms. Some face the road out front and others face the forest out back. People from the country find that the traffic noise from the road out front keeps them awake at night while people from the city find that the noise from the crickets out back keeps them awake. The elevator sometimes makes a loud chime noise late at night, but that’s only at the South end of the motel. I’ll put you in the North-end.”
“...”
“The country? Excellent. I’ll book you a room on the backside of the North wing. I expect that a few crickets won’t be anything new for you. We don’t want the traffic to keep you awake.”
“…”
“That’s what I thought. Now there is one more thing I must bring to your attention. There is a police firing range just past the forest at rear, but I can assure you that we’ve never had any complaints because the police wait until after lunch to begin shooting.”
“…”
“Oh no, never any problem before. We just like to let people know in advance in case anything comes up, that’s all.”
“…”
“Okay then, your reservation is completed. Two for the 7th.”
“…”
“Happy to assist you today Ma’am.”
copyright © 2004 by Kyle MacDonald
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